I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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