I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
