The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
