My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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