The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
