Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
