Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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