Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
