i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
