I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
