She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
