I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
