yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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