The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
