my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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