i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
