you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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