im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
