Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
