is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
