Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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