I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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