the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
