it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
