Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
