Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
