Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
