Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
