i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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