: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
