I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
