The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
