some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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