i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
