that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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