I wanna bring you to show and tell
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
