We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They have beer where we have blood.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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