I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
