He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My life is pants optional.
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