my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
