Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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