So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
