Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
where are my eyebrows?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
