More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
