I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
