Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
