I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
