woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
