i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
