Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
