He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
