I met the friendliest cop last night
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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